🏀 1995-96 Bulls vs. 2015-16 Warriors: A Past-Meets-Present Simulation by Chicago Sports Stuff & Strat-O-Matic 🏀
The pretend hoops rumble that will resolve a zillion bar fights.
I CAN’T PINPOINT just one top moment from the Chicago Bulls’ magical 1990s championship run — when a team wins six trophies in a decade, there are magical memories everywhere — but the Dennis Rodman nut-shot was about as unforgettable as it gets.
So come with me, if you will, to the Brendan Byrne Arena in East Rutherford, New Jersey where, on January 17, 1997, the mercurial Bulls forward — offended that a local cameraman had the temerity to, y’know, sit on the sidelines behind the basket and do his job — took out his frustration on the poor dude’s dude-parts.
Let’s turn it over to ESPN, who had a man on the scene:
“[Rodman] crashed out of bounds and fell over in-house cameraman Eugene Amos. Rodman then, quite unexpectedly, kicked Amos in a really uncool place. From there, it just got weird as the game was delayed for seven minutes before Amos was carried off on a stretcher en route to a local hospital.
“During the delay, as players from both teams wandered the court in disbelief, the Bulls’ television announcers explained to their audience that, ‘The man acts like he’s dying,’ and ‘This is a joke.’ They also pointed out that, ‘You can almost see dollar bills floating around there.’
“Unfortunately for Rodman, the announcers knew what they were talking about – Rodman later agreed to pay Amos $200,000 for his injuries."
Unforgettable.
One thing I don’t remember, however, is the 72-win 1995-96 Bulls facing another 70-win team. Because they never did. Because nary another 70-plus-win team existed.
That is, until the 2015-16 season, when the Golden State Warriors climbed over the 95-96 Bulls, winning 73 regular games. Naturally, the “who’s better” arguments flew fast and furious, one of the crankiest coming from Hall of Fame Bull Scottie Pippen.
When asked in 2016 who would win a hypothetical four-out-of-seven series, the famously irascible Pippen said:
"Bulls in four [games]. I don't think we'd take a night off. I think that my size and length would bother [Curry] a little bit.”
Steve Kerr coached the 73-win Dubs and played for the 72-win Bulls, so if anybody can speak with authority on a potential outcome, he’s the guy. As he said in 2016:
"First of all, it's a really hard question to answer. Not just because you're comparing eras, but literally it's tough for me to answer, grammatically, because I don't know who 'we' is and who 'they' are. I'll just say if the two teams play each other, there's no question we can beat us and they can beat them.
“If you actually put the teams in a hypothetical game, my guess is the Bulls would be called for a million hand-check fouls, and we would be called for a million illegal defenses when we overloaded the strong side. So the game would take, like, six hours because the refs would be calling stuff all game. It's kind of hard to get past that. Now, they wouldn't call traveling in either era."
Kerr gets points for being funny, while Pippen gets points for being on a 70-plus-win team that actually won a ring. (Folks tend to forget that the Warriors missed out on the ‘chip thanks to the Cleveland 2.0 version of LeBron James.) But who gets points for being right, Pippen or Kerr?
Chicago Sports Stuff teamed with Strat-O-Matic to answer that very question, with fine folks at SOM simulating a seven-game series to determine which majestic team is the best of the best.
Spoiler alert: The simulated series went the distance.
GAME 1
Propelled by the raucous Bay Area crowd, the Dubs came out splashing, shooting an impressive 47% against a Bulls defense that, during the regular season, allowed an average of just 92.9 points per game.
Thanks to double-figure performances from Stephen Curry, Draymond Green, Klay Thompson, Andre Iguodala and Marreese Speights, Golden State overcame a forty-burger from Michael Jordan and took an early series lead.
CHICAGO: 86
GOLDEN STATE: 107
(GS: 1-0)
GAME 2
Jordan took the game one defeat personally and made it his mission to keep Chicago from suffering what would’ve been just its second losing streak of the season…that is, if you can call back-to-back L’s a losing streak.
The North Carolina product messed around and almost got a triple-double, racking up 30 points, 9 rebounds, and 9 assists. Pippen also had himself a fantastic all-around performance, scoring 29 points to go along with 7 rebounds and 6 assists.
Despite 31 points apiece from Curry and Klay Thompson, Chicago headed back to the United Center with the series knotted at one.
CHICAGO: 125
GOLDEN STATE: 111
(GS: 1-1)
GAME 3
It’s just another day at the office for the Bulls, as their Big Three worked its magic, with Jordan scoring 33, Pippen raining in 29, and Rodman grabbing 13 boards.
It looked like Chicago coach Phil Jackson found some holes in Golden State’s defense. Could Kerr make workable adjustments for the critical game four?
GOLDEN STATE: 90
CHICAGO: 113
(CHI: 2-1)
GAME 4
Kerr did indeed nail his adjustments, especially on the defensive end, where the Dubs held Jordan to 18 points on 8-of-21 shooting. Curry put together a masterpiece, delivering 26 points and dishing 16 dimes.
But it was Harrison Barnes, of all people, who helped Golden State regain home court advantage with 17 points and 5 rebounds.
GOLDEN STATE: 107
CHICAGO: 92
(TIE: 2-2)
GAME 5:
Golden State went out front early and never looked back…until they did.
After the Dubs ballooned the lead to 19 in the second half, the Bulls mounted a furious rally culminating with a Steve Kerr three that leveled it with 20.5 seconds remaining. (How’s that for irony?)
But Steph Curry daggered Chicago and his future coach with a trey at the buzzer, putting the Dubs one win away from earning the mantle of Greatest NBA Team Ever.
CHICAGO: 97
GOLDEN STATE: 100
(GS: 3-2)
GAME 6
Before the game, Draymond Green made the egregious error of giving Michael Jordan an earful of smack, and as LaBradford Smith knows, you should never, ever, ever poke the bear.
M.J. dropped 50 points on insane 21-of-35 shooting from the field, capped off by a buzzer-beating mid-range J that sent the series back to Cali for a decisive game seven.
GOLDEN STATE: 114
CHICAGO: 116
(TIE: 3-3)
GAME 7
Considering the tightness of games five and six, nobody was surprised that the rubber game was a nail-biter to the nth degree.
In front of a deafening Oracle Arena crowd, the Warriors jumped out to a 32-21, but the Bulls blew them off the floor in the second quarter, taking a four-point cushion into the half.
The remainder of the contest was played within a four-point margin, with a Pippen three-pointer giving Chicago a two-point lead with 7.3 seconds left. Kerr drew up a lovely play that left Curry wide open at the top of the key for a game-winning trey…a trey that clanked off the back iron.
Jordan and Pippen were voted co-MVPs, and — at least according to Chicago Sports Stuff and Strat-O-Matic — the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls officially became the NBA’s G.O.A.T.
CHICAGO: 101
GOLDEN STATE: 99
(CHI WINS 4-3)
STATISTICAL LEADERS
POINTS
Chicago: Michael Jordan - 35.0
Golden State: Stephen Curry - 25.6
REBOUNDS
Chicago: Dennis Rodman - 12.5
Golden State: Draymond Green - 8.7
ASSISTS
Chicago: Scottie Pippen - 6.1
Golden State: Stephen Curry - 8.4
STEALS
Chicago: Michael Jordan - 2.0
Golden State: Stephen Curry - 1.9
BLOCKS
Chicago: Luc Longley - 0.7
Golden State: Andrew Bogut - 2.1