A Chicago Bulls Draft Megamix
The NBA Draft is hours away. I've been writing about it for weeks. Here, for your convenience, are those Drafty musings, all in one place.
BEING THAT THE Chicago Bulls have spent the last several years in hoops purgatory, the NBA Draft has become one of my favorite days of the seasons.
I doubt I’m alone.
Draft night is all about optimism and the great unknown: Will the Bulls make a franchise-altering trade? Will they snatch up the best player available, or will they pick a shiny 18-year-old? Will they win the night, or will they poop the bed?
For the Bulls, it’s been a rough few Draft cycles, filled with big swings and bigger misses. Chandler Hutchison over Jalen Brunson? Patrick Williams over Tyrese Haliburton? Dalen Terry over Walker Kessler? Ugh x3.
Aside from Ayo Dosumnu, Chicago’s chief picker, Artūras Karnišovas, has been spectacularly lousy at, y’know, picking, yet as the Bulls roll into tonight’s Draft with the 11th pick, we’re optimistic…sort of.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve done a whole lot of speculating about what Karnišovas et al might or might not do tonight. In order to make your lives easier and better, I’ve megamixed and updated my Draft articles — or at least the three that remain more-or-less relevant — right here.
And when all of my prognostications prove to be gahr-bajjj, I give you permission to make fun of me.
THE CHICAGO BULLS ARE A MESS, SO LET’S TALK NBA DRAFT
Apri 2, 2024
BACK IN EIGHTH GRADE, I had a tendency to speak with my buddies during class when I was supposed to be, y’know, learning stuff. Especially during French.
My teacher, Mme. Peters, didn’t dig my motormouth-edness, so when I’d get busted for blabbing, she’d tell me, “Monsieur Goldsher, écoute, répète, et apprendre.”
Yeah, écoute, répète, et apprendre. Listen, repeat, and learn.
The 2023-24 Chicago Bulls do too way much répète-ing and not nearly enough écoute-ing and apprendre-ing.
Last night, because they didn’t écoute or apprendre after Sunday’s brilliant victory over an elite Minnesota Timberwolves squad, they répète-ed their habit of phoning it in against an inferior opponent soon after a signature win, falling to the Trae Young-less Atlanta Hawks, 113-101.
I’ve discussed Chicago’s Jekyll/Hyde phenomenon here and here, so a revisit ain’t happening, because I’m tired of writing about it, and you’re tired of reading about it. So let’s chop it up about something that’ll get our minds off of this mess: The 2024 NBA Draft.
Unlike last summer, the Bulls own a first-round pick, which — barring either an end-of-season collapse, a shocking deep playoff run, or some friendly ping-pong balls — should be in the middle of the first round, either near or at the end of the Lottery.
Problem is, this Draft is believed to be of the shallow variety. Like, really shallow.
Last week, the Ringer’s hilarious Kevin O’Connell said it as only he can:
“Looking at this year’s draft class is like heading to your favorite steakhouse only to find out they’re out of steak. Sure, there are still plenty of other delicious options: your trusted bigs, two-way upside wings, and guards who can cook up their own shots. But there’s no Wagyu porterhouse like Victor Wembanyama last year. There isn’t even a consensus on which entrées are the best. Teams will need to make the most of the available menu items to find talent and the best supporting pieces to add to their existing cores.”
And back in August of 2023, Chicago Sports Stuff’s prescient Alan Goldsher tweeted as only he can:
But everybody has to draft somebody, so here, in no particular order, are five of the college, G-League, and international prospects who, on June 27, could don a Chicago Bulls lid after Adam Silver calls their name and gives them a bro-hug.
Rob Dillingham
College: Kentucky
Position: Point Guard
Height/Weight: 6’1”, 174
NBA Comps - Ceiling: Colin Sexton, Lou Williams
NBA Comps - Floor: Bones Hyland, Brandon Jennings
Bulls Pros: When it comes to shooting, Dillingham has exactly zero conscience, and the Bulls could use a quality gunner who DGAF. The Wildcat is a speedster and, pared with Ayo Dosumnu, would create a slippery backup backcourt that’ll drive every second unit in the Association nuts.
Bulls Cons: Does Chicago really need another short-ish guard? There’d be a whole lot of overlap in a Coby White/Ayo Dosumnu/Rob Dillingham Venn Diagram.
Alan’s Verdict: Yes, yes, and yes. Dillingham has the kind of electric on-court charisma the Bulls so desperately need. If he’s around when Chicago picks — and that’s a huge if, as mock drafters who know what they’re talking about have him going anywhere from top-five to top-20 — whoever’s doing Chicago’s card-running should run said card up to the Commish at Dillingham speed.
Matas Buzelis
G-League: Ignite
Position: Small Forward/Power Forward
Height/Weight: 6’11”, 195
NBA Comps - Ceiling: Lamar Odom, Franz Wagner
NBA Comps - Floor: Mike Dunleavy Jr., Joe Ingles
Bulls Pros: A big (or even a medium) who can consistently hit from beyond the arc is a crying need. If the Bulls hold on to DeMar DeRozan next season and beyond, the lanky Lithuanian would be a slick sub — and potentially an eventual replacement — for Deebo.
Bulls Cons: The Bulls already have a first-round 3-and-D combo forward who hasn’t moved any needles (I’m talking to you, Patrick Williams). Once was enough.
Alan’s Verdict: I have Patrick Williams PTSD. No thanks.
Isaiah Collier
College: USC
Position: Point Guard
Height/Weight: 6’4”, 205
NBA Comps - Ceiling: Tyreke Evans, Stephon Marbury
NBA Comps - Floor: Eric Bledsoe, Emmanuel Mudiay
Bulls Pros: Attitude, attitude, attitude. This iteration of the Bulls, as I noted not too long ago, is loaded with warm-and-fuzzy fellas and could use a heap of grrrrr on the roster.
Bulls Cons: Collier’s grrrrr often leads to recklessness, and one could say that Chicago has enough recklessness in Dalen Terry.
Alan’s Verdict: Meh. If the Bulls end up picking between, say, 10-15, take a pass. If they find themselves slotted 16 or beyond, Collier could be a decent value.
Kyle Filipowski
College: Duke
Position: Center
Height/Weight: 7’0”, 230
NBA Comps - Ceiling: Kelly Olynyk, Keith Van Horn
NBA Comps - Floor: Zach Collins, Moritz Wagner
Bulls Pros: Filipowski is a Dookie, and Dookies tend to be solid, if not spectacular pros. He’ll enter the league ready to (sorta kinda) contribute immediately off the bench. As long as we keep our expectations nice and low, we might be pleasantly surprised.
Bulls Cons: You look at Kyle’s slender frame, and you might think, Chet Holmgren. You look at Kyle getting pushed around in the paint, and you might think, Luke Kornet. He doesn’t have enough diversity in his game to unseat starting center Nikola Vučević, or enough power to unseat backup center Andre Drummond. Considering the Bulls’ consistent place on the treadmill of mediocrity, a first-round pick who’ll be a third-stringer for two or three seasons isn’t a good look.
Alan’s Verdict: The height and pedigree make Filipowski a tempting prospect, but…no. Dude has “project” written all over him.
Tidjane Salaun
International: Cholet (France)
Position: Small Forward
Height/Weight: 6’9”, 203
NBA Comps - Ceiling: John Collins, Michael Porter Jr.
NBA Comps - Floor: Chandler Parsons, Jabari Smith Jr.
Bulls Pros: Tidjane is an energy guy — one of those pesky defenders who no offensive player wants all up in their grill — and you can never have enough of those. He’s a mere teenager, and could thus play a major role in the eventual post-DeRozan landscape.
Bulls Cons: The Frenchman is raw and thin, in need of both a diligent shooting coach and a drill sergeant of a weight trainer. He’ll require a season or two to grow, both skill-wise and physically, thus patience will be required.
Alan’s Verdict: If Tidjane is around — which seems like a 50/50 proposition, at best — Chicago should grab him without hesitation. The franchise’s timeline is such that a young’un with this kind of upside makes perfect sense, as the Bulls won’t be able to compete in the East until Giannis Antekounmpo, Joel Embiid, and Jayson Tatum lose a step or three. By the time that trio of one-man wrecking crews slows down in, say, 2028, Salaun will be old enough to legally drink, and, more importantly, potentially lead Chicago to deep playoff run. And a deep playoff run would be darn tasty, even if it’s three or four seasons down the line.
FIVE RIPOFF TRADES THAT WOULD TRANSFORM THE CHICAGO BULLS FOREVER
June 9, 2024
The NBA Draft is just over two weeks away, and, as is always the case when the NBA Draft is just over two weeks away, the Association’s silly season is in full effect.
Ridiculous transaction suggestions clog up our Twitter feeds.
Hardcore fans hope their go-to franchise ships a 2030 second rounder to San Antonio in exchange for Victor Wembanyama and Devin Vassell.
Followers of lottery teams tout their potential new rookies as generational, hoping opposing GMs agree — and further hoping that said opposing GMs will swap a young All-Star for said lotto pick.
This kind of fantasizing is especially prevalent here in Chicago — and I can say that with authority, as I’m one of those pie-in-the-sky goofballs who prays for stuff like the Bulls sending Torrey Craig, a 2045 first, and cash considerations to to OKC in exchange for Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Chet Holmgren.
Thing is, this kind of fantasizing is moot for us Bulls nerds. Y’see, Chicago won’t pull any trade trigger, as their continuity-loving front office doesn’t do deals.
But we can pretend, can’t we?
To that end, here are some outlandish trade scenarios that — if they somehow, some way come to fruition — would make the United Center a far happier place to be.
Note: All deals work under the salary cap, as per ESPN’s NBA Trade Machine.
Another note: All deals are ludicrous, as per me.
Chicago Bulls receive
Anthony Davis
Los Angeles Lakers receive
Lonzo Ball
Jevon Carter
Andre Drummond
Julian Phillips
Dalen Terry
In a salty late-night phone call, Lakers frontman LeBron James tells L.A. General Manager Rob Pelinka, “I dragged Boobie Gibson, Larry Hughes, Drew Gooden, and a washed Zydrunas Ilgauskas to the Finals, and I can damn well do something like that again, so ship Davis outta here, and get me a buncha Boobies!” Since LeBron is the Lakers’ shadow GM, Pelinka does just that.
Chicago Bulls receive
Giannis Antetokounmpo
Milwaukee Bucks receive
Zach Lavine
2028 second round pick
2029 second round pick
2030 second round pick
At their postseason postmortem, the Bucks brass decides, “What we have now isn’t working, so let’s pivot, load up on future seconds, put a garbage contract on the books, and send Giannis to a team in our division.” After much internal debate — because, as noted, the Bulls don’t do trades — the Chicago FO signs off on a deal that brings Milwaukee’s magical vision comes to life.
Chicago Bulls receive
Luka Doncic
Dallas Mavericks
Lonzo Ball
Nikola Vucevic
2030 first round pick
As we speak, the Mavs are playing for a title, but they’re riding on the shoulders of arguably the best player on the planet — so what’s the challenge in that? Aside from a desire to make life more difficult for himself and his team, Dallas coach Jason Kidd has always wanted to roll out a three-headed monster in the middle, and a starting lineup featuring Vooch, Daniel Gafford, and Derrick Lively makes his weirdo fantasy a reality.
Chicago Bulls receive
Kristaps Porzingis
Jayson Tatum
Boston Celtics receive
Lonzo Ball
Ayo Dosumnu
Zach Lavine
For years now, there have been whispers in Boston along the lines of, Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown hate playing together. One of ‘em gotsta go. Tired of listening to the blather and the yakkity-yak, the Celtics decision-makers finally put an end to the Jayson/Jaylen experiment. Porzingis is included in the deal strictly to make the money work.
Chicago Bulls receive
Jalen Brunson
Donte DiVincenzo
Josh Hart
New York Knicks receive
Lonzo Ball
Jevon Carter
Nikola Vucevic
Surmising that their 2023-24 playoff run came to its end due to a lack of injured guards, New York’s finest cuts bait with their MVP candidate Brunson in order to add Ball to their crowded training room. As for the rest of the Knicks’ haul, Carter gives coach Tom Thibodeau another point guard to overwork, while Vucevic can spell Mitchell Robinson and Isaiah Hartenstein. Because you can never have enough slightly-above-average centers.
CHICAGO SPORTS STUFF: BULLS DRAFT TALK
June 14, 2024
Last Sunday, the great Dick Vitale turned 85, so in honor of the best college basketball pundit ever — and in response to the fact that we had like 621 emails asking about the NBA Draft — today is all about oozing po-po-po-potential.
The Chicago Bulls hope to land a rookie who oozes po-po-po-potential.
The Chicago Bears are pinning their hopes on a rookie who oozes po-po-po-potential.
And we’d like to think that the Chicago Sports Stuff mailbag oozes po-po-po-potential.
So let’s po! Er, let’s go!
The NBA Draft is pretty much my favorite day of the season. (I’m not thrilled that the league spread it out over two days, but it’s still the best.) The Bulls have the 11th pick, so my question for you is, who do you want them to pick, who should they pick, and who will they pick? Here’s the catch: All three players have to be different. 🤣 🤣 🤣
-M.D., Deerfield, IL
You’d think that this whole three different players thing would faze me — but nah. The 2024 Draft is so weird that I could realistically throw four or six or ten players into the discussion. But three it is…
Who I Want Chicago to Draft
Matas Buzelis, SF/PF, G-League Ignite
I think most of us agree it’s time for the Bulls to put an end to the Patrick Williams experiment.
It’s unfair to call the fourth pick of the 2020 Draft a bust — he’s spent a whole lot of his career in the trainer’s room — but his Chicago tenure hasn’t been at all impressive, and finding him a new home would likely behoove both him and the franchise.
Buzelis would be the ideal replacement for Williams, both on the floor and in the bank vault: The two have relatively similar skill sets, and bringing Buzelis and a rookie contract into the fold would make way more sense than overpaying restricted free agent Williams.
All that said, I’ll caveat this one: Chances are better than good that Buzelis, a Chicago native, will be long gone by the 11th pick. But if he’s available, the Bulls need to pounce, because of every po-po-po-potential pick, this combo forward is, by far, the most logical.
Who Chicago Should Draft
Nobody
"This group, something doesn't work. I have to find ways to find a group that's going to make improvements. We've done it for a couple years now and it hasn't worked. Everything is on the table."
So said Bulls GM Artūras Karnišovas the week after his team’s disappointing 2023-24 season came to an ignominious end. But considering Karnišovas has proven to be allergic to making trades, we’ll take this with several million grains of salt.
Thing is, Karnišovas is right — it’s not working. Problem is, there’s nobody in this Draft class who will significantly move Chicago’s needle, so it’s time to punt.
Ship Zach Lavine and his problematic contract somewhere — anywhere — and be content with getting pennies on the dollar in return. Put together a package of the 11th pick and a signed-and-traded Patrick Williams for an established veteran and a future pick. Bundle DeMar DeRozan with 11 and bring back a relative haul.
It’s time for a tear-down, and Draft Night is the ideal time to start.
Who Chicago Will Draft
Devin Carter, G, Providence
Remember Chandler Hutchison? Of course you don’t. Dude was eminently forgettable.
A combo forward who performed admirably at the hoops hotbed of Boise State University, Hutchinson was selected by Chicago with the 22nd pick of the 2018 NBA Draft, chosen over the likes of Jalen Brunson, Anfernee Simons, and Gary Trent Jr. But even if the Bulls wanted to grab Brunson, Simons, or Trent, they couldn’t because the Chicago front office tandem of John Paxson and Gar Foreman freakin’ promised Hutch he’d be a Bull.
Brunson is an All-Star and an MVP candidate. Simons is a scoring machine. Trent is a quality role player who’s about to get paid.
But Hutchison is gone. Like, really gone.
After three uninspiring seasons in Chicago, Hutchison had cups of coffee with the Washington Wizards (2021) and the Phoenix Suns (2021-22), after which he made brief appearances with the G-League Santa Cruz Warriors (2021) and the Sioux Falls Skyforce (2022). He retired from pro basketball on November 29, 2022.
Fast forward to this spring, when rumors started flying that the Bulls made a similar promise to Devin Carter.
Now Carter is a far better prospect than Hutchinson ever was. Last season, the 22-year-old former Friar — son of former NBA guard Anthony Carter — earned the Big East Player of the Year award, averaging 19.7 points, 3.6 assists, 1.8 steals, and a whopping 8.7 rebounds, a beastly board number for a guard who clocks in at 6’3”, 195.
One of the most common words you’ll see in Carter’s scouring reports is “energy,” and his comps are cited as Bruce Brown, De’Anthony Melton, Brandin Podziemski, and — wait for it, wait for it — Ayo Dosumnu.
In what’s acknowledged to be a lousy Draft class, you could do a helluva lot worse than Brown, Melton, Potziemski, or Dosumnu.
All that said, I have two issues with this pick:
1) Promise PTSD
As borne out by the fact that I spent 150 words on the Chandler Hutchison fiasco, it’s obvious that Draft promises really grind my gears. I mean, what if Buzelis falls to Chicago? If the Bulls did indeed back themselves into a corner with a guarantee to Carter, they might miss out on a steal. For a team with so many holes, every option needs to be left on the table.
I promise.
2) Duplication
The Bulls’ practice facility is overflowing with guards. We’re talking, in alphabetical order, Lonzo Ball (if he gets healthy), Jevon Carter (inexplicably under contract through 2026), Dosumnu, Josh Giddey, Zach Lavine (if he doesn’t get traded), Dalen Terry (yes, he’s a guard, don’t argue), and Coby White. Take Ball and Lavine out of the equation, and sure, Carter (Devin, not Jevon) makes sense.
But we might very well not be able to take Ball and Lavine out of the equation.
And while we’re on the subject of duplication, here’s Carter (Devin, not Jevon) and Dosumnu on Media Day: