Hunh, Maybe Caleb Williams Is That Good
The Bears rookie has already had a flock of "holy s*!@" moments. Should we get psyched, or should we prepare ourselves for another Chi-town QB clusterf[©<?
PATRICK MAHOMES does this thing.
The Kansas City Chiefs signal caller will drop back, then, when he realizes Travis Kelce isn’t open, he’ll juke right, then sprint left, then — after Kelce somehow separates from his defender and slithers into a teeny-tiny seam, all while throwing a kiss to his sweet little Tay-Tay — Pat’ll make a jump throw across his body, an awkward, technically fugly toss that would have most quarterback coaches smashing a clipboard over their assistant’s skull.
That Mahomes thing ain’t easy. That Mahomes thing ain’t common. That Mahomes thing ain’t normal.
Which is why when we see Caleb Williams make a semi-Mahomes-ian throw, we get all tingly.
Because that Mahomes thing ain’t easy. Because that Mahomes thing ain’t common. Because that Mahomes thing ain’t normal. Which is why we’re all getting overly tingly about this Caleb Sequan Williams guy.
But at least for the time being, maybe we should keep our tingles under wraps.
Listen, Caleb’s making his magic during training camp, where, in the spirit of keeping him out of the hospital, the Bears defense isn’t allowed to smack him around. (HC Matt Eberflus threw Montez Sweat out of practice drills on two consecutive days for doing just that.) All of which means none of us know if the USC product will be able to channel his inner Mahomes with a Will Anderson (Week 2) or a Kwity Paye (Week 3) all up in his grill.
So we all have to calm down. We know better. We’ve ridden in this rodeo before.
EVER SINCE THE SUMMER OF 1989, when the Bears unceremoniously shipped Jim McMahon to San Diego for three used jock straps and a half-filled container of Pringles, we Chicagoans have gotten way out over our skis when it comes to evaluating our shiny new quarterbacks. To wit:
In 2009, I was very much on board when the Bears emptied the cupboard to land up-and-coming twentysomething grouch Jay Cutler, telling myself stuff like, The Kyle Orton era is officially over! Cutler’s been a fantasy football stud for me! We’re totally gonna roast the Packers! Verdict: Not so much.
In 2017, I was very much on board when the Bears traded up to land theoretical phenom Mitchell Trubisky, telling myself stuff like, The Jay Cutler era is officially over! Trubisky has more combined potential than Mahomes and all those other quarterbacks the Bears didn’t draft in the first round! We’re totally gonna roast the Packers! Verdict: Great guy, blah QB.
In 2021, I was very much on board when the Bears traded up to land athletic-freak-of-nature Justin Fields, telling myself stuff like, The Mitch Trubisky era is officially over! Fields is a scout’s and a fan’s dream! What an athlete! We’re totally gonna roast the Packers! Verdict: As a fellow epileptic, I’ll always have a place in my heart for Justin. But dude was a sack magnet, so I’ll just go ahead and wish him good luck in Pittsburgh.
Finally, on April 25, 2024, I was very much on board when the Bears landed Williams, telling myself stuff like, The Justin Fields era is officially over! I’m bummed because Justin’s a fine individual, but he wasn’t good at winning games! Caleb’s got The Claw! We’re totally gonna roast the Packers! Verdict: TBD.
You’d think we’d have learned by now. You’d think decades of quarterback futility would’ve taught us to temper our expectations.
Sadly, it didn’t. But when Williams does cool football things like this…
…quelling our optimism is tough, especially when the kid flashes the kind of intestinal fortitude we haven’t seen from a Bears QB since the aforementioned Mr. McMahon punked up Soldier Field.
THE BEARS BEGIN their 2024 journey on Thursday, facing the Houston Texans in the Hall of Fame Game. Williams will be on a pitch count until Opening Day — it looks like he’ll see 50-ish total preseason reps at most — but for at least one series, he’ll face an elite Texans defense that’ll be more than happy to do their best Montez Sweat impression and smack the rookie around.
And then what?
Welp, until the rook proves he can avoid throwing 14 pick-sixes in eight seasons (we’re talking to you, Jay Cutler), and avoid getting sacked an average of 3.4 times a game (we’re talking to you, Justin Fields), and avoid just being generally disappointing (we’re talking to you, Mitch Trubisky), let’s go ahead and pretend Caleb Williams is Caleb Hanie and be happily surprised if he isn’t Caleb Hanie.
All that said, I remain optimistic that Williams won’t be Hanie.
But maybe I shouldn’t.
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