You Think the Chicago Bulls Are Bad Now? The Early-2000s Say, "Hold My Beer"
The 2024-25 Bulls are a hot mess — but I endured rock bottom from 20 feet away, and this isn’t it.
LISTEN, it could be worse.
For the Chicago Bulls and their fans, the 2024-25 NBA season has been among the most frustrating in franchise history. This isn’t the lousiest Bulls roster ever — more about that in a few paragraphs — but since 2020, even though the team has had some memorable moments, for the most part, it’s been a bumpy, fruitless, oftentimes infuriating journey.
We’ve seen blown draft picks. We’ve seen swing-and-whiff trades. We’ve seen no trades. We’ve seen “continuity.” We’ve seen potentially career-ending injuries. And we’ve seen a first round playoff flameout and multiple Play-In Tournament fiascos.
Bumpy. Fruitless. Infuriating.
But not as gnarly as 1998. Or 1999. Or 2000. Or 2001. Or 2002.
IN 1998, I landed a gig as a regular freelance contributor to the Chicago Bulls’ in-house publications, those being, in that era, the game programs and a magazine created specifically for season ticket holders. (The magazine was called — wait for it, wait for it — BasketBull. Don’t blame me, I didn’t name it.)
For a lifelong Bulls nerd, that’s a dream gig, right?
Wrong. It would’ve been a dream gig 365 days prior, before the Michael Jordan/Scottie Pippen dynasty was kneecapped. Had I gotten the job the previous year, I’d have had the opportunity to cover M.J., Pip, the Worm, and a goofy center who has the most impressive surfing skillset of any former Aussie NBA player in the world.
As for my first season as an official NBA scribe, well, to that I say, Ladies and gentlemen, meet your 1998-99 Chicago Bulls!!!
Coached by an overmatched Tim Floyd, this roster finished the mercifully strike-shortened season at 13-37. And to that, I say, Ladies and gentlemen, meet your 1999-2000 Chicago Bulls!!!
Coached by an overmatched Tim Floyd, this roster finished a season that we wish were strike-shortened with a record of 17-65. And to that, I say, Ladies and gentlemen, meet your 2000-2001 Chicago Bulls!!!
We don’t ever again need to see the name Dalibor Bagarić, so we’ll cut to the chase and remind ourselves that Chicago’s record that season was 15-67.
In 2001-02, 21-61.
In 2002-03, 30-52.
In 2003-04, 23-59.
I’m embarrassed to say that I was at the United Center for close to 200 of those games. In my defense, I had a press pass, I had a seat on press row, and it was a free night out.
Admit it: You’d have done the same damn thing.
Also in my defense, I was afforded up-close views of, among others, Allen Iverson, Kobe Bryant, Yao Ming, and the Washington Wizards version of Michael Jordan. (I also have a Shaq story that merits a column of its own.) This all led to one of the highlights of my sportswriting career: Watching M.J. spend about 20 minutes after a game viciously insulting the deep pool of beat writers. I stayed out of his sightline, so I was spared.
Sure, the Bulls’ current Artūras Karnišovas regime has set the team back about five seasons. And sure, the various iterations of this squad haven’t met reasonable expectations, i.e., an above-.500 record. But at least this Bulls team is filled with players who are professional and decent and kind.
Nikola Vucevic and Coby White are a pleasure to deal with, as are young’uns like Matas Buzelis and Ayo Dosumnu, as is Billy Donovan, as is Donovan’s coaching staff. And these are players and coaches who are accomplished, unlike the early-21st Century Bulls who were both bad at basketball and unprofessional af. For instance:
Draft bust Marcus Fizer was four hours late for an interview that had been on the books for over two weeks.
A few minutes into our interview, Donyell Marshall — a veteran who should’ve known better — excused himself, only to come back an hour later.
The wildly overpaid Eddie Robinson no-showed me for a scheduled talk.
Assistant Coach Pete Myers refused to speak with me for a feature, so I was forced to do what we fancy journalists call a write-around. (Fancy journalists hate write-arounds.) To Pete’s credit, he apologized for blowing me off after he read and enjoyed the story. But still.
Coach Bill Cartwright smirked his way through a monosyllabic chit-chat that turned out to mostly chit and very little chat.
Now what you need to remember here is that these weren’t hard-hitting articles, not even close — I wasn’t grilling the Fizers and the Donyells of the world about their endless losing streaks. No, these were puff pieces aimed towards the fans who, for reasons that still baffle me, paid to watch the Fizers and the Donyells of the world stumble and bumble their way across the NBA landscape.
Oh, also, We worked for the same freakin’ franchise! The dudes that signed my paychecks also signed their paychecks!
(It must be pointed out that there were notable members of these Bulls teams who didn’t treat the press like garbage: Toni Kukoč was consistently warm and fuzzy, Elton Brand was a pro’s pro, Brad Miller was chill and funny, and Jamal Crawford was a straight-up mensch.)
Unlike Fizer, Cartwright, et al, I can guarantee you that Vooch wouldn’t leave me hanging for 30 minutes, let alone four hours. Neither would White or Dosumnu. And definitely not Deebo.
So ask yourself this: If these are your only two choices, would you rather root for…
(A) A historically bad team with a roster full of jerks.
(B) A mediocre team loaded with quality individuals?
Riding the Treadmill of Mediocrity sucks, but I lived through (A). Trust me, in this scenario, (B) is where you want to be.
(This article was seen on Chicago Sports Stuff in a slightly different form on June 20, 2024.)